Too Embarrassed by Your Love of Star Trek or the DC Universe to Indulge it? That is Illogical

Letting yourself nerd out on a TV series, film franchise or comic book can have a host of happiness benefits.

"Being a nerd is not about the thing you love. It's about the way you love that thing.”

Wil Wheaton is an expert on nerding out – he’s a passionate “geek” himself, but he was also part of a sci-fi franchise that excites legions of fans… he was in Star Trek.

“I really love the part of me that wakes up and sings when I'm around people who love things with that kind of unselfconscious, non-judgmental enthusiasm.”

Being an unabashed fan of a film series, a comic book, or a TV show can be really good for your happiness – but sadly many of us think that displaying “unselfconscious enthusiasm” makes us look childish and silly. 

Sometimes our passions – which could enrich us if they were nurtured – make us feel self-conscious. And so we suppress them, or hide them away. 

“It's totally cool to be a nerd and love stuff,” says Wil – who’s become something of a geek-vangelist, extolling the virtue of fandom in his blog posts, YouTube videos and his new memoir Still Just a Geek.

“As long as the thing you love doesn't hurt another person, love it as hard as you can and get as much as much out of it as you possibly can.”

In a previous article, I looked at the surprising wellbeing benefits that come from one-sided friendships with fictional characters in TV shows or films. Sherlock Holmes, for example. Or Wil’s Star Trek role, Lieutenant Wesley Crusher.

But so-called “parasocial” relationships aren’t the only reason that you should throw yourself into being a fan. 

“Unselfconscious” fans have a habit of finding one another – on message boards or at IRL events such as conventions. Just interacting with other people is great in itself, but fans with a common interest tend to join shared activities that make their interactions even richer. 

“Shared pretensive reality” is an adult version of the happiness-boosting “flow” that kids experience when they play together with toys - that fun cooperative imagined reality where you get to be social, make-believe and create together. 

Entering into a flow state is great for your wellbeing. Becoming lost in a fun activity makes time fly by and quietens that inner monologue of worry and rumination that so often occupies our thoughts and drains us.

The kind of fellowship you can experience with other fans is also valuable. Humans need a spectrum of relationships – intimate, relational and collective. Collective relationships are ones we enjoy with a community with whom we share interests, experiences or an identity.

Joining a group of Trekkies, for example, can give you a sense of belonging and pride, and boost your self-esteem. It might also encourage you to engage in generous “prosocial” behaviors like driving other Trekkies to Comic Con; helping them sew a Star Fleet uniform; or lending them your books or DVDs. And doing nice things for people is great for your happiness. 

But “collective” friendships sometimes blossom into even closer relationships. Your fellow fan might easily become your best friend or even your partner, satisfying the need we have for “relational” and “intimate” relationships.

“My childhood was very much defined by loneliness and isolation,” says Wil Wheaton. “I just couldn't find people who I felt safe with. I had been raised to believe that all these things that were really important to me were weird and kind of stupid.” 

“When I found other people who loved the things that I loved, I actually found people who loved me and accepted me and didn't judge me and welcomed me into the community… But all of that was a revelation to me.”

So stay well, stay happy and boldly go… and let yourself explore whatever it is that speaks to your inner geek.