How to Create Your Purpose
What's your purpose in life? For a lot of us, answering this question can feel overwhelming. But what if we've been thinking about purpose all wrong? What if purpose isn’t about big goals that we think we should achieve, but about something we can pursue every day? What if it’s less about big, capital-P Purpose and more what we might call smaller, little-p purpose?
This week on The Happiness Lab, Jordan Grumet, the author of The Purpose Code, explains how we can fill our lives with joy and fulfillment through seemingly small, everyday activities. Jordan defines “purpose” as the actions we take in the present and future that light us up. That's it — simple and straightforward. According to Jordan, purpose isn’t something we find, it’s something that we create by connecting with our purpose anchors — those whispers of activities that give us joy, excite us, and maybe even keep us up at night. Here’s your how-to companion guide for creating more purpose in your life:
7 Tips for Creating Your Purpose
1: Avoid Purpose Mirages. Purpose mirages are sneaky happiness traps — those big achievements we convince ourselves will make everything perfect once we reach them, even when we don't enjoy the daily journey to get there. Don’t let the pursuit of purpose mirages crowd out the activities you actually enjoy.
2: Look Inward, Not Outward. We can often get lost in our search for purpose when we listen to what society, marketers, or even our loved ones say about how we should live our lives. Instead of looking outward towards the expectations of others, look inward and get in touch with your purpose anchors.
3: Focus on Process, Not Goals. A lot of us have purpose backward — we focus on impressive-sounding future goals that might not make us happy when we reach them instead of noticing what activities actually light us up while we're doing them. When we stop fixating on becoming a millionaire or running that marathon someday and start paying attention to what makes us lose track of time right now, purpose shifts from a rare treasure we might never achieve to activities that are already woven throughout our everyday lives.
4: Do a Life Review. Life reviews — a technique used by hospice doctors with dying patients — help people reflect on their proudest moments and deepest regrets. But life reviews aren’t just for hospice patients. By asking “What would I regret never doing?” while we still have time to act, we can uncover our purpose anchors and build a more meaningful life around them.
5: Return to Childhood Joys. Examine what decorated your childhood bedroom to find the activities that naturally lit you up before society's expectations took over. From hand-drawn comic strips on the wall to sticker collections in shoeboxes hidden under the bed, these childhood joys are clues to purpose anchors that might energize you today if you gave yourself permission to pursue them again.
6: Try the Spaghetti Method. The spaghetti method for finding purpose is simple: throw yourself into experiences you'd normally avoid — join that pottery class, attend the hiking meetup, volunteer at the animal shelter — and notice which activities create that spark of energy and engagement. Like throwing spaghetti against the wall to see what sticks, this method might be uncomfortable at first, but it helps you find purpose anchors hiding in places you never thought to look.
7: Practice the Art of Subtraction. Subtraction involves taking a sharp pencil to your calendar and ruthlessly crossing out everything that drains your energy — think: specific job responsibilities or activities that leave you feeling depleted rather than energized. While we don’t all have the ability to systematically eliminate everything that we don't enjoy from our lives, we can all figure out how to spend more time on what we love and less on what we don’t (even in small increments).
"But I just don't have enough time or money to pursue my purpose." If that’s what you found yourself thinking while reading through these tips, consider this: even swapping 15 minutes of social media scrolling for something that excites you can count as a meaningful start. And while money can be helpful, remember it's just one tool among many — you can also leverage your energy, skills, connections, and communities. Try using your lunch break differently, joining a free online group, borrowing resources from your local library, or connecting with friends who share your interests. Purpose grows with momentum, and sometimes the hardest part is getting started.
Want to dive deeper into how to be inspiring? Listen to my full conversation with Jordan on The Happiness Lab.
With gratitude,
Dr. Laurie Santos
P.S. If you enjoyed this week's newsletter, please consider sharing it with a friend! Every person who discovers new ways to create purpose in their life helps create a happier world — one purpose anchor at a time.
P.P.S. For other companion guides from this season of The Happiness Lab, go to DrLaurieSantos.com/Newsletter. See you next week!
Did you get this newsletter from a friend? Sign up here to receive weekly happiness tips and companion guides directly in your inbox!